Sunday, December 1, 2013

Looking for the true meaning of a thankful heart...

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We had a nice and quiet Thanksgiving dinner with Hubby's Mom's side of the family. We started early, at around 3 pm, so my man and I even decided(editor's note, Man had nothing to do with this decision...) to take a quick run to Wally World for pajamas for our boys while my sweet SIL babysat for us (we got Skylander jammies - the boys will be absolutely ecstatic on Christmas Eve). It was actually a pretty smooth experience. The store was busy but not crazy and we were in and out in less than  45 minutes (including traveling to the store and back).

Because it went so great, I actually wanted to try Kohls too but the store was a hot mess, so I decided that I don't need any more stuff than we already have.

And for a good reason... Because that night we ended up at the ER of Primary Children's hospital because my little one couldn't breath. Remember I told you that our 1st grader had a croup-sounding cough at the beginning of the week, and we were concerned that we would have to take him to the doctor. Well, he is all better, not even a sign of sickness any more. But apparently, he shared it with his little brother. He was coughing quite a bit but Thanksgiving night he woke up barking like a seal and suffocating. There is not really a treatment for croup, and we tried everything we knew in the book but nothing helped. So at 2am we went to ER...

They gave him some meds to help open up the airways and sent us home. We spent the last two nights taking turns sleeping either on the floor of his room or in a recliner. Today he's finally doing better, eating a little bit and playing, so we are keeping our fingers crossed for a better night (I'm still sleeping on the floor of his room though).

But man, it was scary! It's not the first time for us to deal with croup but this time it was way worse than we've ever had it. We didn't really have a choice whether to go to the ER or not. He definitely needed it.

But because we don't have health insurance, this trip will more than likely deplete most of whatever savings we had left after a long summer. Again, it was not something we would think of twice, but we will go on a strict budget for December and then true bare bones for January. We did get a 40% discount on the whole bill (we don't know the full amount yet though), and I guess, it's as good as it gets.

We haven't finished our budget for December because we are yet to receive Hubby's first paycheck (should be here in the next 2 days). Then we will really start crunching the numbers...

I wish I could write more uplifting and inspiring posts but lately it seems like stuff just keeps piling up. It was definitely not my way of celebrating, and I sure hope for a better end to the year... But I'm still so grateful that He provides the means and the way from any situation, and that He never leaves us alone if we let Him help. It sucks to see your baby so sick but I believe He inspires doctors and other people on the way to help us to go through whatever we might be facing. I saw it with my boy and I see it with my Mom right now while she goes through her treatment. He blessed us in so many ways and my heart is filled with gratitude even in the face of trials. I'm grateful that both of my sons are doing better, that he provided the way (including financially) for us to deal with all of this, for loving and supporting family and friends, for the One who paid the price for us all.

What is your way of dealing with crappy situations? How do you keep yourself together and don't punch the wall (unless you do:)? What does gratitude truly mean to you?


  1. Depends - I usually keep going then fall apart afterwards. Glad to hear the little lad is on the men. How is your mum?

  2. A good cry is always good for me in a stressful situation. It releases stress and then I can move onto what has to be done and looking at things with a positive lens. I'm glad to hear that things are looking a little better. You were very smart to have emergency savings built up. You have used them just as they were intended--for emergencies. Things will be looking up--actually they already are. Your son is better. Hope you get some sleep soon.

  3. years ago our son got croup a couple of times. we did take him to the emergency room once, most times i bundled him up and sat out on the porch with him--the cool night air seemed to help. when you get the bill, ask for a deeper discount for paying immediately (it can't hurt to try) & hospitals will take payments if money is tight--just talk to them about it.

  4. You guys really have had your hands full for a long time. Glad to hear your baby boy is on the mend, insurance or not he had to have that care. They might have already givien you the self pay discount but if not make sure and ask for it. You can also make payments with no intrest. When the world seems to close in around me, I might rant for a bit, but then I try to find something to put all that energy in, cooking, yard, garden, sewing, whatever. This past year when God was teaching us something new I didn't always agree with or want to do I would try and find little ways to bring joy to someone else. Who knows they might have been having their own learning experiance! Ha Hugs to you and yours

  5. So happy to hear that the little one is doing better. Hugs, Lena.....remember it is darkest before dawn....


  6. Big hugs. Croup is extremely scary. Like one of the other commenters, I sometimes just cry to release the pressure. Especially away from the kids (they don't like to see their mom cry, of course :-)), in the bath, in the shower, whatever needs to happen. Can you & husband trade off just for 30 minutes or so to give yourself (and him, of course) a break? I find that going for a quick walk is almost meditative when I'm under stress.

    How old are your little ones?

  7. Oh Lena, things are so difficult at times. When I find myself upset over something I get angry and vent, but then find something positive to vent into hopefully sooner then later. A darn good cry helps sometimes too. Glad the little one is feeling better, and hopefully all comes back around for you all sooner then later. Chin up and BIG hugsssss xo

  8. Croup is scary! Hawaii did what our pediatrician said to do--the cold night air or putting them in the bathroom with the hot shower running to steam up the room--but sometimes you just gotta go to the emergency room. Glad he's better.

    What do I do? Cry, talk to a close friend, get outside, exercise, pray (and I don't mean pray some nicey-nice prayer--I let out all my anger and frustration!), sing, find some way to serve someone in need ...

    I think you have gratitude figured out. :)

  9. Some times I am cranky and ungrateful. I can get down, but I always try to think of others and that helps. You have been through a lot lately and it is hard to have things go really wrong time after time. I don't understand why we have to be tried so much. I just pray for strength. Maybe it is to teach me to rely on the Lord and not myself. Croup is so scary, I remember my kids getting that the second one used to scare me to death.

  10. Sometimes I can handle things with grace while other times I just bawl my eyes out. I was close to tears twice today at work but pulled myself together. I feel truly blessed, we have enough, but sometimes circumstances get the best of us, we're only human:)

  11. I'm so glad your little one is doing better! That must have been such a scarey experience.


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