Choosing life...

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Hello, my dear friends! How was your day today?

Thank you all who left your kind comments and support here yesterday. My Grandma was laid to rest today. It was simple and peaceful. I felt bad that I couldn't be there by my parents' (especially my Dad's) side. I checked the tickets but I just wouldn't make it there in time. But we did talk a LOT in the past three days and they are doing as good as you can in the situation. I don't think my Dad fully realizes what has happened just yet but he's very strong and knows she's in a better place right now...

In the past few days many people have asked me how I was doing and holding up. Honestly, I don't know. Don't know yet. But I know my Grandma would want me to keep going, to live and to care for those around me, and to enjoy life. I took this picture the other day - I think it really matches how I feel:

I feel like there are a lot of clouds covering the path right now but somewhere behind it there is light, and slowly but surely the sun will go up again. I just need to keep going, to keep living. For myself, for my loved ones, for Grandma. I don't know what tomorrow will bring but I know that He holds all of our tomorrows in His hands, so all I can do is to trust in His mercy...

I'm trying to be normal, to live normal right now. I even made a menu today, lol. It's not easy and it, probably, shouldn't be...But today I'm choosing life because my Grandma always chose to live her life to the fullest and to enjoy every moment of it!

Rest in peace, Grandma, rest in peace...

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I could never imagine that this January would be full of such tragic losses for my family. But two nights ago, in the middle of the night, my Mom called and told me that my wonderful, kind and life-loving Grandma had passed away. She was only 75...

She passed away from swelling and fluid in her brain. They aren't sure what caused it but her passing was quick. She started feeling sick early in the morning (there in Russia) and before my Dad could even get there, she was already gone... My Grandma worked as an ER surgeon for more than 40 years but surprisingly did not like doctors and going to them. About 6 years ago she had a stroke and it possibly created a blood clot in her brain that could've led to her death eventually.We would never know the true reason but it gives us a little consolation that she didn't suffer for long...

My darling Grandma, I'm going to miss you so much. I can't believe you are gone... We were very close. When I was little, I would spend the whole summer with her and often felt like she was the same age as me and my best friend. The lessons she taught me in life helped me to become the woman I am today. She had seen a lot of trials and suffering in her days but she was deeply loved.

My dear friend and my companion in many mischiefs, as you enter your new heavenly home, may you rest in peace for which you truly deserve... Our memories and your laughter will always be stored deeply in my heart. I know we'll meet again, on the other side of the veil, and I will hug you and hold you in my arms just like you always did for me...

I love you, Granny. God be with you 'till we meet again...