Friday, July 5, 2013

Frugal or cheap?

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Those of you who have been following this blog for a while might remember my post about cheapskate-ing here. As I mentioned in that post, I don't consider myself a cheapskate, frugal or thrifty- yes, but not a cheapskate.Well, imagine my surprise when a few weeks ago I received an e-mail from a casting assistant for the famous show "Extreme cheapskates". OK, I do realize that they, probably, send similar e-mails to a bazillion people but I was surprised. Because as I mentioned before, I DO NOT consider myself extreme in our frugal ways.

For many reasons, I felt that I'm not a good fit for the show but I've been thinking about it ever since. Am I too frugal?! Am I sometimes extreme?

Then in the last few weeks some things happened that prompted this post. First, was a conversation about mending socks that I had with my SILs a couple of weeks ago. Do you  ever mend socks? I do! And I never thought twice about it. My Mom always did it, and she taught me how to do it correctly, so it only takes a couple of minutes of my time. When I do the laundry every week, I go through all the socks and set aside the ones that need to be mended, and then take care of them throughout the week when I have an extra minute (like when I watch TV or something). Maybe, because there are only four of us but it really doesn't take much time at all. But it's not just socks. I'm not much of a seamstress but I do mend clothes all the time to help them last longer (like jeans, etc). And I've never thought of it as extreme...

The other thing that made me think was a comment that Daniela from Frugal Ain't Cheap  (isn't the name of her blog cool? That's how I see myself too :) left the other day about clothes swaps. It immediately  brought up some memories. I've been to a few clothes swaps in my life (organized by our church members) but once I was invited  to a swap in a nice area where mostly rich people live. I've never seen anything like it. There were piles and piles of clothes, almost like a thrift store, seriously. They were giving out big garbage bags to fill in as you go through (you know, those black ones for really big trash cans). As I was going through the room, I looked around and quickly realized that the only people looking through clothes other than me, were teenage girls...None of the local women would wear things second-hand...I didn't stay there long...I felt a little weird.

I really don't mind thrift stores and buy plenty of clothes there, often in brand-new condition (like the yellow shoes that I wore with this outfit). But there are some things where I draw the line. As I was reading "Money secrets of the Amish", the author mentions that they would buy used underwear too. Um, sorry, but no, thank you! I know hot water and bleach can do wonders but just the idea of how many people might've...khm...tried them on...makes me cringe...As a matter of fact, no socks from thrift stores either. I'd rather mend my own :)

I guess, we all have different ideas of what's frugal and what's cheap for us (and some don't care or even try hard not to be either). What's yours? Where do you draw the line? Under what circumstances would this line shift for you? And hey, if you say that mending socks is cheap for you, I promise, it will not offend me :) What works for me, doesn't have to work for you. I mean it :)

And for those of you who think, you might be a good fit for the "Extreme Cheapskates" show, you are welcome to contact Alessandra for more information:
 
Alessandra Piscina
Casting Assistant - TLC's Extreme Cheapskates

35 comments:

  1. Good for you!! I shop at charity and mend clothes and I'd mend socks if they were mine or hubbys, but the kids ones are usually hanging by the time they go through them and they are so cheap to replace I must admit I don't - may be I should though? Underwear second hand - I'm with you on that one! I'm also a bit funny about half used cosmetics too, which is silly as you can get some real good bargains second hand from items that have just been opened, not used, but I just can't !! Oh well. Frugal but not cheap is the way to go for sure!! XXX

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    1. You know what, I've never even thought about cosmetics!! I guess, because I've never bought them used :) Umm...no! I don't think, I've ever even seen used make-up in our thrift stores...

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  2. "cheap" has such a negative connotation, frugal is nicer. Have you ever read the Tightwad Gazette by Amy Dacyczyn? You can get it on amazon, or the library. I would check it out a couple times a year when my kids were little. She is the queen of frugal/cheap.
    I have no problem buying used clothing, just think how many people try new things on in a store before someone buys them. I agree with you, no socks or underwear (ew)

    PS I can't wait to see that show! I always loved watching the couponers

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    1. I have a hold on her books in my library right now :) Can't wait to read them!

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  3. My husband wears thick wool socks,and they last forever! Even in the summer..(which drives me crazy...why would anybody do that!....so I never have to mend. I wear flip flops all summer, mostly, or sandals. In the winter I wear sheepskin boots...so I almost never wear socks!

    I agree about the underwear. I like just hanes or fruit of the loom...they are cheap and I find better then expensive underwear!

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    1. My husband likes thick socks too but his feet are pretty dry, so I still have to mend them. And I mostly wear socks when I exercise/walk/run. Then I go fast through them :)

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  4. Check out this poem
    Stretching A Dollar

    They tell me you work for a dollar a day:
    How is it you clothe six boys on such pay?
    I know you think it conceited and queer
    But I do it because I’m a good financier.
    There’s Pete, John, Jim, Joe, Bill and Ed --
    A half-dozen boys to be clothed and fed.
    and I buy for them all, good plain victuals to eat.
    But clothing – I buy only clothing for Pete.
    when Pete’s clothes are too small for him to get on,
    My wife makes them over and gives them to John.
    When for John, who is 10, they have grown out of date,
    she makes them over for Joe, who is 8.
    And when little Joe can wear them no more,
    She makes them over for Bill, who is 4.
    And when for young Bill they no longer will do,
    She still makes them over for Ed, who is 2.
    So you see if I get enough clothing for Pete,
    The family is furnished with a wardrobe complete.
    But when Ed gets through with the clothing
    And you’d call them wore out, what do we do then?
    Why once more we go around the circle complete
    And begin to use them for patches for Pete!

    which I read in the book, A Day In The Life of the Amish:
    I rather enjoyed it and totally agree with the concept, so keep up your frugal ways.

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    1. Yeah, I loved this poem too :) And I guess I have the same concept in our house- I rarely buy clothes for my little guy because he wears what's left from his older brother (and all these clothes went through his cousin too :). I liked the book quite a bit too!

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  5. I am frugal and when we know of a lay off or we have to tighten our money belts for a project or something I will mend anything to save money....if there is nothing on the agenda then I tend to get off track with tightening the budget...It seems the last two years we have been on the frugal mode....
    Have a great day...

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    1. Yes, I know what you mean :) I've been going through what we have trying to prepare for a looming school season. I might have to hit a few yard sales soon but, overall, I think he's pretty set :)

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  6. In our society people just " throw it out" and buy new instead of repairing the old. It is even the same with higher end purchases..Our stoves only 9 years old dies..my husband ( the fixer of all things) tried his best to fix it, we bought it from Sears so he called them to order a replacement part..their response.." oh, we don't make that anymore" Can you believe it!!! So we went on our local " usedcity site"( love it just like craiglist but way better) and found a $2200.00 stove that was barely used and got it for $600 dollars!!! Wow!!! I agree with you and I thrift all the time..underwear of course not!!! but most of my clothes are thrifted, and my kids..you bet!!! Your doing great!! Keep it up!!
    Love from Victoria Canada

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    1. That's a great deal on stove! 9 years is actually pretty good for how things are made now. I swear, cell phones only last for a year, computers - for about two, and for most of the appliances - it's like 5?!

      And thank you for stopping by :)

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  7. I don't know how to mend socks and never tried because I can't stand any bumps in my socks. Do you end up with seams of bumps when you mend?

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    1. I get some bumps but they are not bad. Maybe, I need to write a tutorial on how I do it :) It's my Mom's way, and she's a seamstress in second generation :)

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  8. I've bought necklaces & bracelets in thrifts stores but I draw the line at pierced earrings - the way you described used underwear is what I think about earrings in thrift stores. It just seems very unhygienic and unsanitary to me. What do you think?!

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    1. You know what, I've never thought of it! Maybe, because my ears are not pierced :) But I'm with you on that one. It seems not very hygienic to me too. There is something iffy about it...

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  9. Lena I do not think you are too frugal. I am like you frugal but not cheap, there is for sure a difference! I mend clothes when I can, I am not much of a sewer but I always do the simple fixes that I am able to. I don't mend socks but that is only because I really do not know how, I probably should not admit that! I'm with you no used undies here either.
    Rhonda

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    1. I agree, there is a huge difference! But sometimes, it's in the eye of the beholder :)

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  10. :) it's all about how you see yourself, and not how others see you. I mend socks and clothes...not to the extreme falling apart stage of said socks and clothes. And yes, like me, you are frugal and not cheap. Big difference.

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    1. Oh, if something falls apart and can't be fixed, I turn it into rags :)

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  11. Hi Lena.
    I believe you have to be frugal in times of need if you want nice things or do nice things. I also say no to second hand underwear, swimwear, and pj's.
    I don't worry about what other people think. I do what's right for my family. Can't darn socks.
    Carolx

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    1. I think, being frugal is in my skin right now :) I try to do what I feel right for my family too.

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  12. Hello Lena
    I'm not quite sure what cheapskates means...its not a word we use in Brit English I think. Sooo I've looked it up and the definition given is miser,stingy. IMO that has nothing to do with being frugal. As I understand it frugal is to be careful and not wasteful, to think about how you can make the most of things. Stingy is rather negative,someone who has a lot but who doesn't want to share it out but keep it to themselves. Therefore dear Lena I certainly don't see you and the other followers on my blog who also claim to be frugal as stingy at all or if you would rather say cheapskate.
    I totally agree with you where used underwear is concerned ewwwww no way!!! I will never buy used mattresses either.


    keep well

    Amanda :-)

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    1. I guess, it's been a while since I've learned British English, lol. I bet, my school teachers would be horrified if they heard me speaking right now! :)

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  13. Its all relative I say. I think at times I am frugal and sometimes i am just cheap and have not problem with that. The problem is though that people who have different goals or perspectives will view it one way or the other and it really doesnt matter either way. Used underwear is going a little overboard in my opinion.

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    1. I think, it's going a lot overboard :) But I agree with you. It depends on a situation and your family's needs.

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  14. I don't think you are a good fit for Extreme Cheapskates either. I'd never heard of it before, so had to google and watch a clip. Because I'm too cheap, er, make that frugal, to pay $1.99 to watch a whole show on youtube, I didn't see a lot. But I got the idea that they go for shock value rather than anything positive from a frugal lifestyle.

    To me, there is a huge difference between frugal and cheap. Frugal is being a good steward of what you have, being careful, and not wasteful. Cheap equates with stingy, and crosses the line into bad behavior.

    I will admit, I don't mend socks. I have, but never without a big lump at the mended spot, which invariably rubs. I do mend most other clothing though, and I find other uses for holey socks.

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    1. I watched a few episodes when we stayed with my BIL who has cable :) I only mend socks with smaller holes, otherwise it's almost impossible to avoid big bumps.

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  15. I love that you darn your socks. I wish I would be more consistent about fixing instead of throwing away.
    And I so agree...no used undies! :)!

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    1. Glad to see you back, Sharon! It would be harder if I had as many kids as you do :)

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  16. You are not cheap. Cheap is selfish. It tries to get others to pay its way. It never contributes. It never gives. I also darn my husbands expensive outdoor wool socks and mend clothes to make them last.

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  17. I think a lot has to do with were you grew up. My friend and co-worker was raised in Communist Romania. She would definitely mend a sock. That is not being an extreme cheapskate....that is resourceful. She is always the staff to fix things that the rest of us would throw out due to laziness. She said growing up things would never be thrown out because they were "broken". Things would be fixed because people could not afford to buy things all the time. She cooks from scratch and never ever wastes food. She remembers bread queues and rampant food shortages. Her parents grew whatever they could and made their own bread and butter.
    She literally is amazed at how wasteful the west is. Sadly...it is very true.

    It is a sad testament to our society when mending things is considered being an extreme cheapskate.

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  18. I only wish I knew How to Mend socks! My hubby would be thrilled:) He has a thing about wearing certain socks and hates the "feel" of new socks:) You should do a tutorial on how to darn socks....I think lots of people would like to learn how.....I certainly would! Lynn @ Turnips 2 Tangerines

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  19. I don't mend socks, but I do mend almost everything else. And when pants can't be mended anymore, we get lots more shorts! And I love thrift store finds - I bought three pairs of shorts/capris before our vacation and my very picky sister wanted to know where I got my clothes! She's a little jealous.

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  20. I learned how to mend a sock from my great grandmother, she would slide an egg into the sock were the hole was and mend like that, do you use an egg? She got hardly any bumps. With three boys who go around with only their socks all the time that's all I would be doing is mending their socks but I will mend my own socks, I don't get too many holes.

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