Sunday, September 22, 2013

Some updates...

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Hello, my friends!

How are you all? It's been a while since I had a glimpse into your life on your blogs. Honestly, my life right now feels like it was split in two: before multiple myeloma and after...

I wish I could say that I have good news but that's not the case. My Mom was diagnosed with stage 3B which is, pretty much, the worst diagnosis. We do want to get a second opinion but she's been pretty sick lately. They haven't even started chemo on her because she's been battling virus after virus. I will go home before they will start the actual treatment.

Even worse is how she feels emotionally... It almost seems like she's not willing to fight because she is so tired of being sick. Her doctors are really indifferent and cold (another reason why we want to get a second opinion!). The doctors in Russia are not well paid - more like teachers - and that's, probably, one of the reasons why they don't care as much. Or why some take/want bribes...

My Mom also doesn't know about the seriousness of her condition. The doctors here don't disclose this kind of information to the patients. They don't even want to talk to the family about the details of the treatment! I had a very unpleasant conversation with her doctor when she basically snapped at me when I started asking for details about the meds they are giving her. It's so frustrating, and we all sometimes feel helpless. She's been in the hospital for 3 weeks now, and we are yet to see any improvement whatsoever!!!

She feels tired and scared. We decided not to tell her about how serious her disease and condition are just yet.With how depressed she is already, we don't see how that would help. But when she asks me if her disease is terminal, I just feel like my heart bursts into pieces inside of me... I feel so helpless right now! I think, deep down she knows... I honestly try to swallow hard that ball inside my throat and pretend like everything is fine! I love my Mom so much and I just can't see her suffering...Especially, because 3 days from now I will be on an airplane going back home. I so wish I could take her with me! I always knew that the fact that we live so far from each other will haunt me but I could never imagine it would happen so soon. It's hard to find any comfort right now.

My Dad also looks like a zombi. I swear, he lost all the pounds he had left and got ten years older...He's so used to my Mom doing everything for him (she did spoil him rotten) that he's absolutely lost. Since I came, I've been cleaning and cooking ALL THE TIME. I'm planning on cleaning the fridge and scrub and scrub before I go home...

We haven't completely lost the flicker of hope but it's so hard to stay strong (we do try as best as we can - for her sake). On Monday we wanted to call a few different hospitals to see if we can get a second opinion. Hopefully, we, at least, can find somebody who will CARE more!

And that's how the things are right now...Thank you so much to all of you who left comments, wrote letters, messages, gave support and have been supporting us through all of this time... It is a hard time for our family but it would be even harder if it wasn't for so many of you, my friends!

31 comments:

  1. Lena my problems seem so small. Please know your family is in our prayers. I wish there was more I could say

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  2. Your mother deserves to know her true condition. Maybe she has things to say before she dies, if she does. It seems sad to deprive her of the truth.

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    1. Believe me, this decision was not an easy one for us! She's not dying yet but her condition is very serious, and yes, eventually she will have to leave this world. But, hopefully, she still has a few years ahead of her after proper treatment. We don't think or believe that it's time to say our good byes. For now we decided to follow what her doctors are saying and give her comfort.

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  3. Lena,
    I'm heartbroken for you and your family in this hard time. I will continue to pray for you guys, and that you will find better doctors.

    Much love,
    Meredith

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  4. Sending positive vibes your way from Ireland.

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  5. Lena - My heart is breaking for you right now. You are in our prayers. So glad that you could go and support your family. Good luck and have a safe trip home.

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  6. There are no words... My prayers are with you.

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  7. Prayers that you will be able to find someone that has compasion and help for your Mother.

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  8. Lena, I felt that I just had to touch base with you today and let you know that I have been keeping up with your info on Mom. My husband had the same condition and lived for nine years after diagnosis, with sporadic treatment, both radition and chemotherapy, so don't give up hope.
    That is a strong, strong word - hope. It is my opinion and only mine, that the final result of Mom's condition, need not be discussed right now, you all have to just try and maintain a positive attitude and HOPE.
    Bless you all and please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you during this particularly difficult time.

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    1. Oh, Marie, thank you so much for your support and prayers! We are trying to stay strong and hopeful!

      And my very sincere condolences about your husband!!

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  9. I've been keeping up with your recent events Lena but up until now I haven't been sure on how to comment or what to say. You are a really strong lady Lena and you and your family have my support and prayers.

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  10. I am sure it will be a rough trip back, but hopefully you are able to find a better doctor for your mother, but if not, that at least the current ones will do their due diligence and provide her with the care she needs. Thinking of you and your family.

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  11. So sorry about your mother. I can't imagine how hard that must be for you and to know you will have to leave soon. Take care!

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  12. Big Hugs and Prayers to all of you.

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  13. Very sorry to read about your mother, Lena. It is so difficult when we have to leave our elderly parents behind because we live in two different countries. I really hope that your mother receives the treatment she needs.

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  14. Will be praying for your family. Sorry you are having to deal with such indifference from the doctors. Heartbreaking that they are being so callous.

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  15. Lena, my heart goes out to you. Just do what feels right to you and hug your mother whenever you can. Kia kaha

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  16. Oh Lena... :( (((Hugs))) I'm so sorry to hear this.... I pray you find a good Dr. who will treat your mother with the respect & compassion she deserves. Take comfort in Gods strength and don't lose faith my friend. Sending you love & prayers from miles away.

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  17. Oh Lena~ I was so hoping you would have some"good" news by now~ I will continue to pray for you and your family. Lynn @ Turnips 2 Tangerines

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  18. Lena you and your family are very much in my thoughts.

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  19. Lena, I will continue to be praying for your mother, your family and you. I am so sorry you are having to go through this. Praise God you all still have hope! Praying for peace and comfort.

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  20. Lena
    You and the family are in my thoughts and prayers.
    Rhonda

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  21. Oh Lena, hugs! I know how tough it is to have your family half way across the world, and especially so when there is sickness. Sending positive vibes,

    Nan

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  22. Oh honey, how very frustrating for you. My continued prayers for you and your family. I hope that you find suitable assistance for your Mom.

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  23. Do very sorry to hear about your mum. I sent you a big hug.
    Carolx

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  24. We have not ceased praying here dear Lena, since this began. I am sorry that things are so difficult at present, but we shall continue in full hope that those things that are not will be.

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  25. Lena,
    You and your family are still in my thoughts & prayers.
    Rhonda

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  26. Lena, I am praying for you and your family every day. This is so hard to accept, but know that I care.

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