I was standing in the isle of the Dollar Store today when a lady approached me. As she was walking towards me, she declared staring at my protruding belly, "Wow, you are all out there... Definitely don't miss that..." Ummm, slap?? I mean you, lady! Thanks for making me feel so much better about myself...
I had some other ideas of what to write about but I just kept going back in my head to how rude people can be for no reason. Is it something in the air? Too hot? Today not one but two dear bloggers I follow (Carla and Danielle) talked about some not so sweet comments they've received recently. I understand, the Internet is a public arena but, really, what exactly are people trying to achieve by demeaning others, especially when they are hiding behind the anonymous tag? Ever since I started talking about our nursery, I've gotten some remarks about me wasting money there. I'm thankful that some of my readers that prefer to remain unknown do care about our financial well-being but I assure you we don't take decisions on how to spend our hard-earned money lightly. We did not, do not and will not use credit cards to pay for necessities or splurges for this room. It will all come out of my paycheck that I'm really grateful for because it allows us to buy a few extras.
And we do sit down and discuss every single expense, even the small ones. That's what we do as partners in our marriage. And that's why I don't feel guilty about spending this money because I know that we came to this decision(s) together...
As I said before, yes blogging is public but nobody is forced to read something they don't understand/support. And it's OK to have different opinions on various subjects but I don't believe it's right to belittle somebody just because and then hide behind the screen. Let us all be a little more loving, a little more respectful and, in some cases, a little more indifferent to things that are not up to us... If we started treating others how we would want to be treated, the world (including the worldwide web) would be a much nicer place...
Hello from Ireland.
ReplyDeleteI'm very glad that I've never experienced much negativity on my blog but I have seen some really awful comments made on other blogs.
Don't feed the haters I say! They are obviously just jealous of you.
Have a great day!
I agree Lena, if you don't like what you read, don't read it. There is no need for negativity. I so admire all you bloggers. I am not a blogger, I just love to read them! I am so excited for you and your family. I enjoy following your pregnancy. Enjoy thinking about and setting up your nursery. This is a special time.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about rude comments. I don't like them or understand them either sometimes. Sorry that you've had some recently.
ReplyDeleteHowever, as you well know by now, pregnant women seem to belong to the world. I'm not sure why everyone is interested in them, but they are. Probably goes back to early times when they needed to be protected from wild animals or some such thing. And as rude as some of the comments seem, I don't think there is much if any ill will intended with them. It's just something that happens. Maybe you can record them and do a blog post about them later. It could make very interesting reading.
Then there's the other thing about blog comments that disapprove of the way that you're doing things. Out in the commercial world, a hearty discussion of opposing views is what bloggers hope for. Opposing views usually mean more readers and more revenue. But most of us are not out in the commercial world. Our blogs are expressions of ourselves and ways to connect to others. However, none of us really tells the whole story. We reserve some things to protect the privacy of our families. So sometimes, things we say don't entirely make sense to the readers and they comment.
And we have to remember that empathy, that comes naturally to some, does not come easily to others. I know because I have some family members like that. They say things that can be considered rude, but they don't mean it that way at all. If you're an empathetic person, that's hard to understand. It took me a while to get that. Also, when someone is not very empathetic, it's hard for them to understand why you're not doing things they way they would. Then you get non favorable comments.
There are also some very important points to be made about the anonymity of the internet, but I'll have to leave that discussion up to you and others. My computer time is up for now.
Hope everyone has a great day!
People did not used to be so rude, but now it seems more common to be rude than to be polite. It is really sad but I think it is just going to continue.
ReplyDeleteGreat post!
ReplyDeleteI like this quote...J.M. Barrie — 'Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle'
Amen. I bet you look gorgeous Lena! My Dad used to say there is nothing more beautiful than a pregnant lady...
ReplyDeleteI don't print rude remarks. Not worth it to me. So sorry you had to deal with them, and in public too!
Take it with a grain of salt... I am a bit direct with my sister ("you look huuuuuuge!") but we know I am kidding. I think that if a stranger said that to my sister, however, I'd verbally beat them up. Nicely (server style). I think strangers should learn to respect their boundaries when talking to others... you never know how a person feels about what you're about to say. I still think you look absolutely beautiful regardless, and more than beautiful, very healthy and happy.
ReplyDeleteSome people are just overly friendly... I want to help with the nursery! I want to, I want to, I love nurseries! I saw this rug (the turquoise and white at TJ Maxx)
ReplyDeleteDon't think on it one bit. You are beautiful lady!
ReplyDeleteI speak to pregnant strangers in stores occasionally, usually just saying "enjoy it, time passes so fast'. But then, I think pregnancy looks lovely on people so I don't think I would ever say anything about a pregnant woman's appearance.
ReplyDeleteThe way we spend our money is our own very personal decision. That being said, providing a baby with a nice room isn't wasting money in my eyes. It's a personal way to make a great space that feels nice for a new member of the family.
ReplyDeleteThere's no excuse for such rudeness! And I'm sorry you had to bear the brunt of it. That lady wasn't too bright obviously - I read the following quote recently and agree with it wholeheartedly - "kindness is the highest form of intelligence!" Enjoy your time being pregnant and ignore the comments.
ReplyDeleteI have thoughts on how you spend your money, but since I don't read you often, I don't really know what and where you spend money. So, to encourage you to buy something else or not buy would be overstepping the bounds. When I feel very much like I must say something that might not be accepted and is a little critical, I write an email and try to be kind about my concerns/criticism. And, I don't tell the person what to do, call names, or try to hide behind anonymous.
ReplyDeleteI would have shut her right up and said, "I'm not pregnant". :P lol! Yes, people are clueless, I swear... I sometimes wonder about some peoples' children. And yes, we are the same way with our finances... we are *very careful* with every purchase, and even if not, i'd never put a "splurge" ahead of a bill or food, or savings! Another thing, even if you were slapping baby items on a credit card, IT'S FOR A BABY!! Would they rather the babies sleep on the floor perhaps!? UGH!! I'll stop now... lol! But i've got your back on this one! xo
ReplyDeletePeople do seem to be more rude than even 15 years ago! There is no reason to hurt someone's feelings, sorry it happened. Take care
ReplyDeleteKim