Sunday, February 10, 2013

Every woman needs to read this!

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I know, Sunday is usually the "Inspire Me Sundays" day but today I'm too tired to be inspirational. Instead, one of my friends shared some info on Facebook that every woman needs to read. I don't know what the original source is. It seems like it's been shared before. But it's such valuable information that I thought I would put it here too (if you know the source, please, let me know). And please, be sure to share it with your friends and family. This is very personal for me because somebody very dear to my heart was raped when she was 15 years old, and I myself was running for my life once.

                                 "THROUGH A RAPIST'S EYES"

                         (PLS TAKE TIME TO READ THIS. It may save a life.)

It seems that a lot of attackers use some tactic to get away with violence. Not many people know how to take care of themselves when faced with such a situation. Everyone should read this especially each n every girl in this world.

FYI - Through a rapist's eyes! A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle.
They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun! , braid
or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.

2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who's clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.

3] They also look for women using their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.

4] The number one place women are abducted from / attacked at is grocery store parking lots.

5] Number two is office parking lots/garages.

6] Number three is public restrooms.

7] The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don't have to worry about getting caught.

8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged
because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming.

9] These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas, or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.

10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you're not worth it.


1] If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or
with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask
them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk:
can't believe it is so cold out here, we're in for a bad winter. Now
that you've seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up,
you lose appeal as a target.

2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.

4] If someone grabs you, you can't beat them with strength but you can do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and armpit or in the upper inner thigh - HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts.

5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a
particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy's parts it
is extremely painful. You might think that you'll anger the guy and
make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he's out of there.

6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.

7] Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don't dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel little silly at the time, but you'd feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.

I know you are smart enough to know these pointers but there will be some, where you will go "hmm I must remember that" After reading, forward it to someone you care about, never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do it.

2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans : if a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you.... chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back
tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like
crazy. The driver won't see you but everybody else will. This has
saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON'T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side,put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU CLOSE the DOORS , LEAVE.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or
parking garage:

a. Be aware: look around your car as someone may be
hiding at the passenger side , peek into your car, inside the
passenger side floor, and in the back seat. ( DO THIS TOO BEFORE RIDING A TAXI CAB) .

b. If you! u are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the
passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling
them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.

c. Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and
the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest
your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are
horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times;
And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked "for help" into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

I'd like you to forward this to all the women you know. It may save a life. A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle.

Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it's better safe than sorry.


  1. Some very interesting points and some I didn't know.
    I will share on my facebook.

    1. Please do Carol! I've learned new things too that I didn't know.

  2. Some good points that I hadn't heard before. I will share on my blog.

  3. I agree some things I didn't know either and all good to know.


  4. Thanks for sharing. Your right.... Every woman should know these.

    1. And that's why I posted it! I've been in a very dangerous situation, and I'm glad I could escape but I wish I knew then all of these things.

  5. That's pretty bad that the top 3 places are places where you'd think they'd have security cameras, like grocery stores and office parking garages. They advice you to park farther (for exercise), but that's probably a more dangerous spot than front and center.

    Another thing to add that started happening around MD in general: if someone offers to pump your gas, drive away if there are no other people around pumping, and avoid full service gas stations at night. Also, criminals were slashing people's tires at grocery stores or gas stations and offering to take the victim to the nearest Walmart or whatever. Never get in a car with strangers. Never accept help OR offer to take anyone anywhere unless you're with somebody else (preferrably a male). Rather, call the police and let them handle it. That's why they're there. If you have to get out of your car because you hear a noise, take your purse, lock your car and go look at the back. People have been known to attach empty soda cans to the back of the car, have the woman stop the car a mere few feet outside of the parkinglot, while the suspect gets inside the car and drives off with your car, purse, and maybe even child.

    1. These are some great ideas! Thank you for adding them. I was surprised about the grocery store parking lot. I think, after being in a very dangerous situation, I'm a little paranoid but I think, it's a good thing. Better be safe than sorry. And alive...

  6. Excellent advice! I will continue to wear my hair super short! I've always heard that we should fight - DO NOT LET YOURSELF BE TAKEN TO ANOTHER LOCATION as you're much harder to find. Kick, scream and Pinch!!

    1. And I just love your short hair! Not many look as cute as you with short hair :)

  7. This has been around since 2001. I found the origin of this on Read about it here.

    Basically, not everything is true in the article and can't be supported by police statistics. Supposedly it was written by a self-defense instructor who was trying to get more business. (This is an extremely condensed version of the discussion about the article.)

    1. Thank you for this link, I will check it out! I couldn't find it yesterday. I'm not sure if everything is right in here but I think it contains some great points. I've been in a dangerous situation on the street, and possibly, was literally saved by two young men who later became my friends. And I did a few things on this list intuitively. That's why I thought it was so important to share!

  8. This is why I have my bodyguard with me all the time.. also known as my big scary looking husband. ;)

    1. Agree :) I rarely go places without my handsome bodyguard :)

  9. Thanks for posting that, Lena. I emailed it to my daughters away at college. The city that I live in is becoming progressively dangerous, especially at night, so I never go anywhere without the spouse. I just don't feel safe. I remember hearing on TV that the FBI advise standing and fighting for your life there and then if ever anyone tries to carjack or kidnap. Evidence shows that if you leave with an abductor, you are as good as dead. Scary but I thought that was worth passing on.

    1. I know what you are talking about. I remember when we were kids, I would be outside all day. Now I'm all paranoid and watch my kids like a hawk :( It's scary how many creepy and terrible people are out there.

  10. These are good things to remember whether they are supported by police statistics or not. I have a tendency to not make eye contact with strangers. I will remember to look strangers in the face. I have always checked my back seat before getting into my car. I would do the same on the minivan at my work, where it would be much easier for someone to hide.

    The one that spoke the loudest to me was the one about being parked beside a van or beside a car with a lone male in the passenger side. Very wise to be aware of those situations.

    Thanks for posting this.


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