Today I had the opportunity to help in my Kindergartener's class in school. Once in a while they do a fire drill to teach the kids what to do in the case of fire and other dangerous situations.
Today was one of these days...The siren wailed, inside doors locked and the kids quickly followed their teacher outside through a second door as I and another volunteer closed the procession. And as they were prancing and chirping like the little birds ahead of us, I suddenly had a sickening feeling. What if it wasn't just a drill? What if it was real, and some or every single one of these precious kids could be in danger?!
As I was looking at the curly blonde head of my sweet boy a few feet away from me, I felt my heart squeezing in my chest. Once we lost our little guy for a short period of time. But it was the longest fifteen minutes of my life. When we moved to our current place, our firstborn was about two and a half years old. He was (still is) always busy and didn't like to sleep - especially nap - much. One night he was up ALL night, and the next day we were exhausted and falling off of our feet. So after Church we decided to catnap and tried to put him between us. Well, we fell asleep but he didn't...
I only slept for about fifteen minutes. When I woke up, I couldn't see or hear him. I ran through the whole house, looked in every closet, corner or crevice. He was nowhere to be found. I looked through every window but still couldn't see him. I screamed to my husband and ran to the front door. That's when I realized that it was not locked. I started feeling physically sick and all kinds of thoughts ran through my head. I ran outside yelling and screaming. I couldn't see him anywhere. I ran bare feet up and down the street as my husband was dialing 911. Then I had a strong impression to go to the back yard (I had already been there). So I ran there again, and as I was almost ready to leave, I noticed some movement under the patio of our neighbor's yard. It was my boy playing with their outdoor toys. We had a tiny whole in the chain link fence between our yards but never in my life would I have imagined that he could pass through it.
The minute I saw him, I couldn't stand on my feet any more. I slid down on the ground and started balling, but I was also so grateful that he was OK. Apparently, he learned how to open the dead bolt which he immediately demonstrated to us as soon as we got back home (oh, the joys of motherhood...). But I don't think, I ever hugged him as much as I did that day...
Today I was thinking once again about all those parents who lost their children because of the evil in this world, from Sandy Hook Elementary school in December of last year to Beslan, North Ossetia, in 2004. And many other known and unknown tragedies.
I have no idea how to wrap up this post. I'm not even sure what I'm trying to say. I can only pray that God knows what's best and that He will bless and protect our children, and comfort parents in pain. But today I was reminded one more time to keep them very close to my heart ( and I don't care if someone will call me overprotective because they can mind their own business...)